I've been looking through my Weiss stuff... tweaking graphics, taking a good look at fics. I may be able to make it, with Wren's help, one big push to the end of the month, and open the Weiss section at least. The Pocket Bish Gyms are on their way. 175 catches. Yeah, that's right. Boo-yeah.
Yohji has been playing lots of Eric Clapton. Especially the electric period of late seventies, early eighties. He misses Seiji bad. Yohji used to be one of my comfort-bishies, but he's not anymore. Everytime I touch him, there are spikes of angst... Irvine has filled the void for the most part. Touma is with Kujuurou more at this time of year; I feel like Seiji, having to let him go when he was mine for so long.
My boys have been unusually quiet, though I feel Kujuurou waking. We've had a mild winter up here so far, and this is the first time the jet stream's dipped down to give us winds and freezing temps. About a month late. Fine by me ^^. Kujuurou takes time, though, so we'll see how it goes...
2:41 PM
A fic about Henry! No shota, just... *sigh* first person Henry. (I'm such a fan girl.) Hope you enjoy! The title is from the Dave Matthews Band song "Ants Marching." Great listen while you're reading this ^_^.
On the Fence
Takato came into my life pretty suddenly.
I should have known it would be that kind of a day. Terriermon begged to come to school with me after one hour too many with Suzy. We spent just as much time arguing about it. It's not that I can't hide him; more that he can't hide himself. Around third hour, we had what we thought was a fire drill. When we came back in, everyone was whispering about the principal finally losing it, talking to a cardboard box and then pulling a fire alarm. Terriermon chose that moment to wander off, so I almost missed the kid with the goggles running away from the scene.
I perched Terriermon on my shoulder and slipped away to look for him. The kid was from Miss Isaji's class. He had a couple of friends, and was too runty and awkward to fit in with the popular crowd. That's not really my assessment of him now, but when you're in junior high you have to figure out who the bottom feeders are, and who's really worth hanging out with.
We finally caught up with him running from the kitchen. He looked like he'd lost his best friend. I kind of said so. Then Terriermon had to go and say he wasn't very much of a tamer. His eyes started leaking right there. So that was my first impression of him. A really emotional kind of guy.
I don't get very emotional myself. It doesn't make sense to wail about something I can't change. Besides, by then I'm throwing myself into getting around it. When you live in a high rise and watch all the people going about their lives, it gives you a different perspective. So many things that seem so big are really rather small and insignificant.
Then again, the biggest things can come in the smallest packages.
I still have the game where Terriermon came from. Sometimes I find it unwrapped, so I know he's been into it. I think he's kind of curious about it. He's an amazing little guy. He's not really a best friend, the way Takato treats Guilmon. Truth be told, he's a messy, impatient, opinionated smart alec. He's a living being, and my responsibility.
A pet? I'm not sure. We had a dog when I was younger, in the other apartment. Terriermon reminds me of that dog. He always hugs tight with his floppy ears, and climbs all over me like I'm a jungle gym. Sometimes he looks up at me like I'm the only one in the world. When he isn't making fun of me, that is.
"Mo-mantai, Henry, mo-mantai!"
I'm pretty laid back about most things, but not the people (and digimon) I care about. And I've never felt so much anxiety about anything or anyone like Terriermon. He's so fragile. Anytime, one of those big monsters could rip him away, or one of those goons in dark glasses could suck him into the sky. Shatter his data like glass. For weeks after he appeared, I couldn't bring myself to use one of dad's disk erasers. It was as though I was afraid he'd be sucked down the drain with the bathwater.
But since he's digivolved, I've gotten better about letting him go. He knows I'll only make him digivolve when it's absolutely necessary. We read each other's emotions so well. It's funny, considering how loud he is and how quiet I am, we're both pretty sensitive about emotions. We just don't show it. Or at least, Terriermon clowns around and goes along with things instead of showing it. He certainly doesn't let Suzy do all those things to him because he wants to keep our cover. He knows I can't deny my little sister anything that makes her happy. He's really doing it for me.
Anyway, I wasn't really sure what to make of Takato. Such an average kid, a good kid, kind of kooky sometimes. I played it cool for a while. I don't open up to people right away. The thing was, Takato needed so much help. Guilmon looked like a doodle off a notebook... which is exactly what he was. Just as kooky as his tamer, too. One of them was going to run into trouble sooner or later. Both of them? Definitely.
Before I knew it, Takato was calling me in the middle of the night for help. I just had to go. Who else would help him? Not that girl Rika. She wants to fight everything in sight, including Takato and Guilmon. She and Renamon have their own problems. What a pair. They deserve each other. I really admire Renamon, though. If I had designed my own digimon, it would probably look like her. Smart, savvy, silent. Terriermon once said she was kind of like me, but with more firepower and less politeness. She's someone I can work with; maybe between the two of us we'll figure out what's going on. Otherwise she actually knows what to do with her long limbs. I kind of slouch around, as tall and thin as I am.
Agh, what's wrong with me? I can't stick to the subject. Takato. My best friend, and not just because our digimon like each other. He tags along, he cries a lot, he's too enthusiastic, he gets carried away. But he's also got incredible willpower and a real sense of wonder. A true dreamer. I don't want to protect him, like my siblings. I don't want to fight him, like Rika. I don't want to take care of him, like Terriermon. I just want him by my side.
I guess that's it, then. As much as I can't imagine myself without Terriermon's warm weight on my shoulder, I can't imagine going through a day without stepping on Takato's shadow. It's strange that he's the leader (not just because he's got the goggles.) He's so uncertain about his place in the world, his role as a tamer. And yet... after so many false starts, I see him slip effortlessly into that place where movement and mind are one. It's a martial arts thing, and very hard to do. My dad's worked on some katas for years before mastering them. But Takato just dives in. And Guilmon goes with him.
Takato's bond with his digimon is just incredible. When Growlmon battled a Deva for the first time, and Takato fainted, I could almost feel him reaching out to his digimon. We were all scared out of our minds, then. The sky had a huge rip in it. This thing had come out of it which the D-Arcs couldn't read, and whatever it was, Kiyubimon and Gargomon were no match for it. Takato kept going. All he thought of was Growlmon. When it was over, he wrapped himself around that huge claw and cried. I felt this big pit in my stomach, watching him. Terriermon must have made a crack about it, because I remember hugging him closer. If the rascal's joking, he must feel better. I've cried over him too.
'So what's the problem, Henry?' That's what Terriermon would say. 'Takato's your friend, he loves his digimon, what's the big deal?'
Well... best friends tell each other everything, right? I'd assume that. I've never had a best friend before. I had friends in elementary school, but we moved away, and I was too tall and smart to really fit in with a lot of groups in junior high. 'More mature' is another way of putting it. Sensei says I'm mature enough to know what I still need to learn. I really want to get this lesson right.
I think I should tell Takato I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure I don't like him that way. I'd only go for someone more like me. Anyway I've seen him in his swim trunks and he's just not... well, he's just not a looker. Not sure if he'd be hurt or relieved if I told him that. Knowing Takato, probably both. Besides, he and that girl Jeri seem like each other. But I've never told anyone, and I just...
I don't want to lose him. Takato just doesn't hide his feelings. If he were in any way repulsed, even if he hung out with me and talked to me, I'd still see it in his eyes. Oh, and he'd definitely freak out. Takato would freak out if I told him I was getting new sunglasses.
I don't dare practice on Terriermon. He can't keep a secret, and then he'd want to know why I was keeping it. I'm not really afraid of being hated. Just noticed. I can go around with Terriermon perched on my shoulder because I'm unobtrusive. I like watching the world, not being the center of attention. I've gotten used to it as the second youngest in the family. In any case, I have no reason to tell Terriermon. Being gay doesn't affect my abilities as a tamer.
It doesn't affect my abilities as a friend, either.
"Hey Henry! Whatcha doing?"
"Just thinking, Terriermon. What are you doing? Suzy get tired of you already?"
"I wish. She's with your mom and big sister."
"Ah. Come up here."
"You shouldn't leave the window open, Henry."
"Why, are you afraid of heights? At this altitude, your ears would make great parachutes."
"Very funny. No, it makes your lap cold."
"Thanks a lot."
There goes the sun. There's the crowd of people going home for the day. I don't know how wise it is for three kids and their digimon to protect this city, but we're glad to do it. Even Rika. This city is where we're growing up. It's where our families are, where our digimon first met us, where we met each other. Even if we move away, we'll remember this place.
Dad will hopefully come home soon. Maybe I can talk to him after dinner. Terriermon wants to turn out all the lights, shine a flashlight on him, and grill him. I really shouldn't leave him on the couch when my older siblings are watching movies. He picks up the weirdest things.
Big floppy ears wrap around my torso. I can feel how muscled they are. I've grown to respect the strength Terriermon has. He is pretty small, even for a Rookie level digimon. But he'll stand up to the biggest bullies if they're picking on his friends.
He reminds me of Takato.
"Terriermon, can I tell you a secret?"
"Of course!"
"You actually have to keep it."
"Awww..."
"I'm serious, Terriermon. It's really important."
"You know you can tell me, Henry. I'm your friend."
Saturday was Digimon. Oooohhh, I hate cliffhangers! You bastards! That was a really well-edited one, though. The Boar Wars? Parents, are you watching this?! It's educational, damn it. Oh well. Stupid cultural decline. That's what an adult joke should be in a children's show, not a sexual innuendo. BTW, I love Henry. Jenrya. Whatever. That scene where he repossesed Terriermon? Awwww! Rika is getting interesting; she hangs out with her grandmother a lot, then yells at her mom on the phone. Her mom sounds like Mimi on crack. I love Mimi-- she learned her lesson, and isn't as shallow in second season. But man, Rika's mom takes the cake. Then Rika bonded with Jeri. That was so cool! Rika really feels better inside a matriarchy. Take some feminism classes, girl, you'll do well. Posters... where are the girls in bikinis? LOL. Guilmon really does need longer legs. Yamaki likes to throw the Wongs around... Wishing for the blue cards! Finally get to see Taomon's digivolution! (Very nice eclipse). "If we wait for you, we'll be too old to fight it."
And, of course... "What are you two, the Obvious Brothers?!"
The second episode was also important. If you missed it, those sparkles in the rainbow are the same kind feeding into Mr. Big Pig. So we've got at least one Sovereign, the remaining Devas (Rabbit, Dragon, Monkey, Dog, Pig), the Sparkle Thingie, and just how Calumon and Impmon fit into things. Not to mention Mr. Mysterious Blond dude, who I'm betting is the team's missing research member. Otherwise, it was soooo cute to see Growlmon praying at a shrine. And more Henry-love, which ignited a fic: "That's okay, I was just *sleeping*." The passerby's comment, "Little boys playing with dolls, how cute." Just brought it home to me that Henry never looks fazed that he's got a big Terriermon on his shoulder. No insecurities about his macho-ness, just... hey, I'm a guy with a stuffed animal, that's okay.
Ah, the giant Sunday update. Well, it certainly cuts down on my babble if I know what I'm going to blog. Watch out for new stuff in the next twenty-four hours.
Spent a pretty lonely Thanksgiving, on the gloomy side. Everyone was out of town, and I'm still allergic to the whole family thing. I did, however, cook myself a scrumptious meal for less than twenty dollars. Alas, I could not find any good Cornish hens, but I did put together cranberry sauce, honey acorn-squash, beef with steamed mushrooms and onions. Oh, and I also made Thanksgiving leftovers ^^. There was so much squash, I made crepes and ate them with the cranberries and chocolate. Really good stuff. I'm cooking, look at me ^_^.
Thursday night I drooled over Brad Pitt on Friends. And then... Damn you all. My God, Smallville is slashy. Yeah, I know, it was a rerun, but I swear I heard hundreds of slashers weeping for joy. What a beautiful sound.
"My dad wants to know if you're upset about a guy."
"NO! ...no."
~60K of graphics :: Koani by
Alice in Wonderland :: Scorpion by Ushikai Background and buttons by Triple Orbit Graphics ~ Sadly it's no longer at its former website.
